Another title for this blog could be: Don’t Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out, 2013
For your listening pleasure while reading/making sense of the lyrics scattered throughout the post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2GfsjVJZEA
The sun is setting in your quiet eyes
You take for granted what we’ve always seen inside
You run in circles
And you don’t know how
You got to this place
But you sure do live there now
So here we are! Another year! Thank freaking god. This year took its sweet time. It wasn’t all bad, of course, but it was definitely full of challenges. I started the year off in January with my VBMasters (which feels so long ago!) celebrating the second inauguration of President Obama, which we helped achieve. Felt so great. It was my first time in the capitol and while there wasn’t much time for sight seeing (gotta check out them job fairs and balls, yo), I had a blast seeing my Iowa team.
Come back home was a wake up call, though. After the election in November I spent a lot of time catching up on sleep and becoming one with my bed and Netflix. Then, amidst the joy of the inauguration in January, I was also feeling tugged around and lost, and was starting to feel depressed, probably from the whiplash of coming off a campaign and then suddenly having a whole bunch of time with nothing to do. The subsequent months were filled with unnecessary drama, some of it self-inflicted, and looking back now, I feel like a ridiculous moron and like a idiot for being so bitter about something so stupid. Life goes on, Kate. And it really, really does.
And I won’t blame you if you fall
And I won’t ask you to believe that life won’t hurt at all
When the tears stream down your face
And you’ve given all your light away
I’d like to be the safest place
Spring brought with it a great opportunity on a City Council race, and I had a blast with always awesome Zack and Team Gernandt. And of course, we kicked ass. The spring also brought with it a fantastic opportunity with Planned Parenthood helping to pilot a new program that really took off. A lot of great changes happened at Planned Parenthood this year, congrats to Shauna and Brandon! The Omaha Dream Team! I miss y’all.
July I turned 25, which is pretty freaking scary. As a result, I sat down and made a list of things I want to do before I turn 30, which is scary close now. I’ve got some stuff done, but man, watch out world! (I’m not running on much sleep so the sentences will probably start getting shorter from here on out until I get to my point).
Since I arrived in Costa Rica, life has been amazing. Sure there have been ups and downs, there’s had to be a lot of re-evaluating, a lot of soul searching, not as many Skype sessions as I would like, but so much laughter, learning, and memory making. Even bad memories, but that’s what builds character. This past month and a half has been so great that I just don’t even consider it a part of 2013, because its so different from the rest of the year.
The fear keeps coming back to you in waves
When you catch the wrong side of the same mistakes you’ve made
You’re tuning out because it hurts too much to try
You’re giving up before you’ve had your chance to fly
I want to forget 2013 ever happened. I want to take the bad things that happened, shake them off, remember what I learned, and move on with my life. I want to remember the humility in being threatened with eviction numerous times, and I want to make sure I’m never in that position again. I want to remember that my relationships with the people I love are important, and I never want to hurt anyone ever again. I want to remember that my life and my worth is not determined by how much money is in my bank account, and I never want to forget that things can change in an instant and jobs and money aren’t guaranteed in life, but I can choose to live with love and flourish in that aspect. I want to remember the bitter stings of rejection, the back stabbing after years of loyalty, the misunderstandings of my personality and character, and I want to move forward knowing how to say, “You don’t deserve me, anyways.” I want to know that people are never really gone as long as we honor their memory, and I never want to lax in living in love for everyone, not just people in my life and those I care about.
I will close the doors and lock the gates
And give to you my safest place